Day 6 | Jet Setting to Kathmandu
The first words on my mind when I woke up this morning were, "Come, Holy Spirit." Repeating these words in my heart, "Come, Holy Spirit" echoed again and again.
I fell asleep the other night looking at Google maps, zooming in and out on different countries, just wanting to take my backpack, camera, and hop on a plane. I obviously started texting Lindy to loop her in on this well-thought-out, genius plan.
Frankie: WAHHHHH. I just wanna leave.
Frankie: And idk just feel like going somewhere
Lindy: What'dya see?
Frankie: Just wanna pack my backpack and go somewhere
Please note, I did not answer Lindy's questions, but I did soon fall asleep. I woke up to one of those texts that is far too long, basically a novel via iMessage, the type where you have to click the arrows over to read the entire thing.
Called out. Boom.
It was too early to be called out, so I delightfully ignored her text. We later Facebook messaged back and forth about something else, ignoring the fact that I had not acknowledged the looming wall of words.
Lindy and I chatted on the phone later that day, and we laughed about how I did not respond to her message. I had not sent her any messages back, but it changed my day and definitely my weekend. I write from Ohio on a Friday evening after an ordinary day. I did not jet set to Kathmandu like I had been plotting via Google at 2AM. I wanted to go because I wanted to go... I have just been learning during this journey that it is about where God wants me to go. Classic Frankie, am I right? I forget so quickly even though I remind myself everyday...
Today was very quiet and rather still. It was the refreshing type where you find yourself cleaning the apartment with Kaki just chatting and moving things about. I spent a good part of the day reading through old notebooks, and I think that we shall go to New Zealand next week in my writing. The stars of the southern hemisphere beckon, but tomorrow we shall go to the rose garden again, perhaps even to the sea.
I was laughing to myself earlier as I thought a lot about Chipotle... it sounded so delicious, but I decided to make my usual: eggs in a tortilla.
I have been thinking about what I am waiting for, so I looked around and found myself in line at Chipotle with my little brother ordering my steak burrito bowl. I recently learned that the tortillas on the side are free, and life shall never be the same. You are welcome if you are just learning this, as well. It is basically Christmas already. All of this to find out the tortillas are free. I should have known.
I am waiting for something that I have never actively waited for in the past. I have gone through the motions of Advent, but I have been telling God that I need to see Him and know He is here, and sometimes when He shows me I respond like Zechariah, doubting that God would actually hear my prayers.
Something that I have been needing has been to know that God does not want me to carry this pain alone, this longing alone, or this confusion alone. It is kind of like the guacamole for sale for $1.50... It kills me to buy it knowing that I could get two avocados for less than that in Ohio when they are in season, but it is too good. I buy it anyway and tell them that "yes I realize it is an additional $1.50." I never regret it.